Being at w3rk.............

[KegRun]

how can you be at work when your heart has been demolished??

I swear a snail could move faster than the second hand on the clock. All I want to do is go home and see if I can work out what is going wrong with my relationship. I can't cry cause I'm around peers. I dont' want to talk about it cause it hurts to much and it's humiliating.


*sigh*...................my life is ruined.

[Vlad]

what happened?

[KegRun]

3.5 years gone down the drain....that's what happened. Ever since you've know me...i've been with the same beautiful girl. but now she doesn't want me anymore. oh well........*cries*:(

[Vlad]

she broke it off? No reason, nothing?

[KegRun]

yeah there was a lot shit...but i just don't feel like typing about it. I've been PM'ing Mer about it. Cause she's a girl and all and we are pretty good online friends. Basically though...i think it's over. And I'm gonna be alone for the rest of my life because I don't want anyother.

[GuTTer_RaT]

calm down brother. the hardest thing to do is to be away from her and trying to play phone tag. just try to make it through your werk day and settle it when you get home. btw, there is nothing wrong with crying at werk. there have been times where i have had to go take my break and just go out and take a walk to gain perspective. go take a 15 min break and let it out, you will feel better than bottling it all up. im here for you if you need me bro. anytime!

[KegRun]

shit..i cried for like 13 hours yesterday. i don't know what to do. *sigh*

[GuTTer_RaT]

well by reading your statement in your sig i can see what happened. :( fuck bro, im so sorry!

[KegRun]

she just doesn't think i love her anymore. but she is so fkn wrong. *cries* I love her to much. I don't know how to get her back. I'm totally fkn lost. I'm like a completely differnt person. And i still got 2 fkn dayz til the weekend. three and a half years of love. so much of it. man...i have fkn engagement ring and everything. I was so close to asking her. so close. less than 2 weeks close. it was going to be so perfect. Now i see my 'wife' leaving me because i waited to long. *cires* how fkn stupid am i to let her think I didn't love her. I should have showed her how much every day......but for some reason i had to 'a guy' and play it off. oh man i want to take it back. I should have married her the moment i knew i wanted to. And taht was the first day i saw her walk into my life.........*cries*

[GuTTer_RaT]

all is not lost brother. tell her this. i assume you probably already have but tell her this. tell her what your plans were. that you were not being a macho man, you were waiting and had it all planned. if you love her that much you have to fight. job or no job, if this is "the one" you cant let anything stand in your way. dont give up man!

[KegRun]

i did man. i did all of this. but she is still confused. she doesn't want to go back to being the way we were. but there is no way i can prove this to her without her letting me. i mean shit..she should be the one wanting me back. she didn't totally fk up. Yes she cheated, but it was only kissing. To some..that ain't nothing. But to me..it's a lot. Because she is falling in love. And now she is in love with 2 guys. It's complete bullshit. I can't see my life with out her. She was the ONLY only only only good thing in my life. Nothing else is right in my life...and now this. lol. ain't life a fkn bitch.

[GuTTer_RaT]

thats not true dude. you are a great guy. there is nothing wrong with you! you are one of my best friends online and i think you rock man. i know that doesnt mean shit probably right now but i just want you to know that you are a great dude. ive heard the way you talk about her. i know how you feel about her. i just want you to know that you my friend are not alone! is she even back in arizona yet at all or is this going on long distance?

[KegRun]

yeah she came back monday night. we were fighting before she came back about me not paying her attention while she was gone. I didn't return her emails and i was to busy to talk to her on the phone. I did return her emails...but i think some weren't getting there and i think she thought i was lying about it when i said i did send them. I get mad at the concept of talkin about bills. She would call twice a day and the second time we had nothing to talk about so she would talk about bills...argh. So I told her to stop callin so much. and she did...alot. i barely ever heard from her. she was so fkn hurt... because she thought i already was falling out of love with her. and i think that was the final straw. I didn't mean it how it sounded you know...but there was no way for me to call her. no way. I shoulda emailed her more. she started to fall for him the last 2 weeks she was there...sometime after thanksgiving. man. why. why can't she see that this guy found a hole to get through the boyfriend forcefield. he fkn played her. she told him why she was upset and he said everything i wasn't able to. why can't she just see that. god my fkn stomach hurts so bad.

[KegRun]

WE are in love. not him and her. if i was to get kissed by another girl that i thought was somewhat pretty...i would also get that *spark* feeling. That beginning shit is so much fun...but...in the end..there is love. And love can be confuse with passion. I don't know what i'm typing..lol. I'm just so fkn lost. argh.

[Hexum]

Sorry man. Trust me I know how it feels as do lot of us, men and women alike. It happens, it is what makes us strong. Things like this.

[=DBA=Ronin]

Damn glad...sorry to hear about all of this, I know of the anguish you are going through and truely it makes everything seem so pointless...but its not. Things like this happen for a reason and more often then not in the end, it makes something better because of it. But it takes time man, and a lot of tears to see it through and it hurts to let go.

My last real serious girlfriend and I were, so I thought, in love like no tomorrow. All i wanted to do was be with her whenever I could and I thought we were in it for the long haul. Then one night at a party my brothers roomate, practically my second brother to me, pulled me to the side and told me he was fucking her right to my face. My whole world just died. I couldnt bear the thought of the two of them together but the god damn image of it drove me to utter misery for a long time. Then to add salt to the wounds when I called her and told her what I found out, in hysterics, all she said was, "So. Why do you care?" I was never more belittled in my life and treated like a piece of dirt from two people I thought I cared about. But, soon enough after my converstation with her, I realized that I must move on. And once I reached this point things started getting a lot better. It will take time brother, but if you are so heart set on loving this girl, then ratty is right man, keep fighting for her. There is nothing to lose at this point, only to hopefully regain that which you have lost.

I know its an old cliche, but it has so much truth to it, "It is better to have loved and lost, then to not have loved at all". This is sadly sometimes the price we pay for a loving relationship and it always hurts to go through it. Be strong man and if you arent going to give up on her then I wish you the best of luck!!! You are a great guy and I bet she will find herself miserable without you soon enough!

**BTW...as it turns out my ex g/f from above is now fatter than me so I am now thankful for what happened!!! I still want to slap her across the face for what she did to me, but I can live with her being morbidly obese!!!

[SpazTheProphet]

glad man, i may be young, but i know the line between lust and love. lust is temporary bullshit that is all about getting a nice lay. love is shit that will actually last. and if you feel this strongly tell her man, and if you told her do it again. show her this fucking thread man, explain to her what she means and how much she is hurting you.

we never really talked online man but you were always one of the cooler guys in the forums. never really was mean to anyone or had any probs. dont worry bout crying, love is a strong thing and i dont think anyone will say something about it. youll only get some advice from friends and pat on the back when needed. try to tell her man and hope she realizes that you have love, and the other guy is just lust.

[KegRun]

looking at your location spaz kills me too lol. me and her always joked how wierd it was that we met. me being from georgia. her being from jersey. and us meeting in Arizona.

[KegRun]

she asked me yesterday what i was doing (we were on the phone..i was at work and she was at our apartment). I told her I was posting on the forum about her and us. she asked why and I told her i had no one else to talk to. she asked me why I couldn't talk to my friends and i said it was to embarrasing. She asked why again and i told her because everyone was jealous of us. Everyone knew for a fact that we would be married. 95% of the people here don't even know me when i was without her. There is no matt...there is only matt & laila. *sigh*...........

we slept together last night....no sex..just sleep. She layed on my arm and i held like i was hugging her from behind all night. Stuff like that is what i sorta stopped doing. Mer warned me. She told me, if I was your girl..i would leave you if you stopped doing that and just stayed up till 3 playing video games while i waited for you to come to bed. Many times I would walk into the bedrooom and the tv would be on....because she tried to stay up and wait for me. I'm so fkn stupid. It's just hard right now because i can see it in her eyes she wants to stay. But something in the back of her head makes her think i'll go back to being the same. whyw hwyw hwywwhwhwywhwyhwywhwyhwhywhwyhywhwhywhywhywhwyhywh yhwyhwyhwyhwyh.........................

[KegRun]

Over one year later.

I still think about her. I now have issues with women. My life is not how I wanted it to be at the age of 25. I still wish I was with her. I still wish she hadn't done what she did. I miss her love. I miss her movements. I miss her eyes. I miss her voice. I miss her touch. I miss her scent. I miss her thoughts. I just miss her.

But...she fucked up. Not me. I feel alot better since this happened. I don't cry over her anymore. I don't ever want to be back with her because she cheated on me. I have a really nice watch since I had to return the ring. My illness is like 95% gone thanks to God for helping me out.

I've changed my life sorta. I barely play video games as much as I used to. I've started working out again. I don't have to worry about cat shit anymore...lol. I travel. I'm going to Italy this year. I'm going to Vegas. Hopefully a cruise. I don't just sit in the house as much anymore. I actually go out and party and hang with friends again.

And I know..one day..I'll meet someone new. I just hope it doesn't take forever.


P.S. My friends wife is still buddies with Laila. Well he told me that Laila is hating on her husband. He told like 6...yes..6 of his friends that they could live with him and her for a while. She had no say in it...lol.

And no I don't ask questions about her. Just sometimes people tell me things. Who doesn't want to hear bad things about someone that hurt you? :)

P.P.S. Thanks again guys for helping me and talking with me and just chatting with me. It helped me alot.

[Unforgiven]

not to be the bearer of the blatently obvious but that fucking whore got exactly what she deserves! EXACTLY WHAT SHE DESERVES! she fucked you and by doing so she's gonna make your life better in the long run. you shouldnt waste your time even caring or seeing whats going on in her life. her breaking your heart, while at the time felt like death delivered to your doorstep, is going to help you for your future! frankly if i were you i would wish her a horrible life and tell her that she dug her own fucking grave and hope she enjoys the sesspool of carnage that she brought on herself. good riddance to her and good for you for getting on in life and not holding onto the past! sometimes people in life get bad luck by chance, others get bad luck because they created it themselves. she is #2 and deserves everything bad that happens to her now and in the future!

[KegRun]

lmao...NICE dude! That's fkn funny as hell man!

OH..and she's either pregnant or had the kid by now while all those guys are there!! LMAO!!

[CDSaint]

if she had the baby already that is one way of getting rid of the unwanted permanent visitors...gawd especially if the kid is colicky!:laugh:

[KegRun]

*UPDATE*!!!

Well... 2 days before i left the desert, a buddy of mine shows up from my old base in Tucson. His wife is still pretty good email friends with Laila. This is who I get my info from. Shes a gossip. Well..i was sitting with my buddy the night I was leaving and drinking a few beers with him. He says this to me, "I was talking to the wifey today and told her you said hi and shit. Well... she goes and tells me this...Laila is getting a divorce!"

:wideeyes:

LMAO!!!! I started cracking up laughing and was like..you are shitting me!! He said nope. I asked him why and he said .....BECAUSE HE'S CHEATING ON HER!!!!!!!!!!!!


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Man that's gotta suck to be a single mom at the age of 23..ahahhahahah!!!!

[Unforgiven]

:0wn3d: :laugh: :0wn3d: :laugh: :0wn3d: couldnt happen to a nicer woman!

[shanKs]

Holy shit that was a long read. Now I finally understand the "RIP Matthew Cole's Heart." I knew it had something to do like this and this was a very interesting read. I don't have a lot to comment on but nice updates guys.

Teh Shanks

[Taya]

Originally posted by KegRun
Man that's gotta suck to be a single mom at the age of 23..ahahhahahah!!!!
im 23 and a single mom... :\

[KegRun]

yeah...but you aint a fkn cheating whore bitch.

:)

[Taya]

TROOF!

[SealClubber]

:stupid:

:0wn3d: :0wn3d: :0wn3d: :0wn3d: :0wn3d: :0wn3d:

[Taya]

die seal :mad:

[KegRun]

FUCK YOU YOU DIRTY WHORE KISS MY ASS YOU COCK SUCKING TWO TIMING WHORE!!! YOU WANT SOMEBODY THAT TREATS YOU LIKE SHIT ALL YOUR LIFE?????!!!! WELL HAVE FUN YOU FUCKING CUNT!!! HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY YOU ARE PREGNANT BY SOME GUY THAT CHEATED ON YOU WHEN I NEVER FUCKING WOULD YOU SONOFABITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ROT BITCH....ROT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Shogun]

/me tiptoes away

[Taya]

lol wtf?

[KegRun]

lol..i was drunk.

[Shogun]

LIES!!

[CDSaint]

he aint lyin' :laugh:

[Pallidrone]

In with the good - out with the bad........


As the old daying goes.....What goes around comes around. I truly believe in that.

Want to hear a nice little story about that cum guzzling whore I call an ex wife?

Besides the consistent cheating on me, she had a huge issue with just being there for her children, which is horrible all in it's own because these are two of the most well behaved children. They fight, but rarely and even their teachers both have said "If I had a classroom full of Katy/Josh it would be perfect." Yet this whore couldnt even stand watching her own children or raising them. I was the one always to watch them when we were together and a huge factor in why I have custody of them today.

Anyway she got pregnant by her boyfriend, whom she was cheating on me with and is still with, and she gave birth to the spawn of satan. I am serious in the "spawn of satan". The child was born with a genetic defect that maybe him XYY instead of XY, the Supermale disease, they say. What happens is that the kids testerone level are double to triple the amount of a normal child, so it makes him extremely violent and hyper. She couldnt deal and doesnt care about her very well behaved and wonderful children, and now she has a child that has the potential of being an axe murderer.

Good Game!

[BuddhaMan]

You named your son after RaTTy?

[Pallidrone]

Ironically, yes.

[Shogun]

Originally posted by Pallidrone
Ironically, yes.

Now thats scary!:D

[CDSaint]

i would think that palli named his son after the real Joshua...god...are you jewish by chance palli?
;)

[Pallidrone]

Actually I am not

His name is Joshua Christian

just a little religious irony in there.....

[CDSaint]

i would have asked if you were religious as well...i didnt even know til this past xmas that was god's name...see for an agnostic person like me that was a revelation. i thought i was reading a joke from a weird internet site and i was waiting for the punchline. it felt like a bombshell was dropped on me. shocking to the core. well you do learn something new everyday whether you like it or not.:D

[CDSaint]

here is another irony for you...my son's name is Daniel Jacob...is daniel a jewish name?:confused: :D

[CDSaint]

yep i just checked...my son has great jewish names ;)

[KegRun]

stop shitting on my thread.........

[CDSaint]

no. anyways just because you arent getting any action doesnt mean your thread should suffer the same fate. we want to post and its getting posted here. dun be jealous of the attention your thread is getting. now if you be the manwhore that you are you'd get some action too!:laugh: :moon:

[KegRun]

this isn't my celibacy thread.....

[CDSaint]

doesnt matter. its still gonna get more action than you...:laugh: