Bluehen
10-13-2005, 09:35 AM
In honor of the crappy weather here in PA, I give you these (ugh) beauties:
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A guy is strolling down the street after work and kicks a bottle
lying in the street. Suddenly, out of the bottle comes a Genie. The guy is stunned.
The Genie says, "I will grant you one wish, anything you want."
The guy begins thinking, "Well, I really like drinking tequila."
Finally, he says: "I wish to drink tequila whenever I want, so make me pee tequila."
The Genie grants him his wish. When the man gets home, he gets a glass
out of the cupboard and pees in it. He looks at the glass and it's clear...looks like tequila. Then he smells the liquid...smells like tequila. So he takes a taste, and it is the best tequila he has ever tasted.
Excited, he yells to his wife, "Honey, come quickly!" She comes running down the hall, and the man takes another glass out of the cupboard and fills it. He tells her to drink it. It is tequila. She is reluctant but goes ahead and takes a sip. It is the best tequila she has ever tasted.
The two drank and partied all night.
The next night the guy comes home from work and tells his wife to
get two glasses out of the cupboard. He proceeds to fill the two
glasses. The result is the same. The tequila is excellent, and the
couple drink until the sun comes up.
Finally Friday night comes and the man gets home from work and tells his wife, "Baby, grab one glass from the cupboard and we will drink Tequila." His wife gets the glass from the cupboard and sets it on the table.
He begins to fill the glass; and when he fills it, his wife asks him, "But sweetheart, why do we need only one glass?"
The man raises his glass and says, "BECAUSE TONIGHT YOU DRINK FROM THE BOTTLE!"
---
A penguin is driving across the Great American Southwest when he notices the heat gauge is showing an increase in engine temperature beyond normal operating parameters. Being concerned, as soon as he arrives at the first town he comes to, he pulls into the local garage.
The penguin explains his problem to the mechanic on duty who tells him, "I'll take a look at it, check back with me in a little while".
The penguin then goes out to take a walk around the small desert town, wherein he soon comes across an ice cream store. Being a penguin in the desert he feels some ice cold ice cream would hit the spot and orders a large bowl of vanilla ice cream. Of course, being a penguin with no hands, he has to eat the ice cream with his flippers, which produces quite a mess.
He then returns to the garage, and, on entering, the mechanic spots him and informs him, "you blew a seal".
"No, No," responds the penguin," it's vanilla ice cream!"
---
A guy is strolling down the street after work and kicks a bottle
lying in the street. Suddenly, out of the bottle comes a Genie. The guy is stunned.
The Genie says, "I will grant you one wish, anything you want."
The guy begins thinking, "Well, I really like drinking tequila."
Finally, he says: "I wish to drink tequila whenever I want, so make me pee tequila."
The Genie grants him his wish. When the man gets home, he gets a glass
out of the cupboard and pees in it. He looks at the glass and it's clear...looks like tequila. Then he smells the liquid...smells like tequila. So he takes a taste, and it is the best tequila he has ever tasted.
Excited, he yells to his wife, "Honey, come quickly!" She comes running down the hall, and the man takes another glass out of the cupboard and fills it. He tells her to drink it. It is tequila. She is reluctant but goes ahead and takes a sip. It is the best tequila she has ever tasted.
The two drank and partied all night.
The next night the guy comes home from work and tells his wife to
get two glasses out of the cupboard. He proceeds to fill the two
glasses. The result is the same. The tequila is excellent, and the
couple drink until the sun comes up.
Finally Friday night comes and the man gets home from work and tells his wife, "Baby, grab one glass from the cupboard and we will drink Tequila." His wife gets the glass from the cupboard and sets it on the table.
He begins to fill the glass; and when he fills it, his wife asks him, "But sweetheart, why do we need only one glass?"
The man raises his glass and says, "BECAUSE TONIGHT YOU DRINK FROM THE BOTTLE!"
---
A penguin is driving across the Great American Southwest when he notices the heat gauge is showing an increase in engine temperature beyond normal operating parameters. Being concerned, as soon as he arrives at the first town he comes to, he pulls into the local garage.
The penguin explains his problem to the mechanic on duty who tells him, "I'll take a look at it, check back with me in a little while".
The penguin then goes out to take a walk around the small desert town, wherein he soon comes across an ice cream store. Being a penguin in the desert he feels some ice cold ice cream would hit the spot and orders a large bowl of vanilla ice cream. Of course, being a penguin with no hands, he has to eat the ice cream with his flippers, which produces quite a mess.
He then returns to the garage, and, on entering, the mechanic spots him and informs him, "you blew a seal".
"No, No," responds the penguin," it's vanilla ice cream!"