life {not really a flame more than a release}

[Tooflyy]

Ever feel like your completely alone. Your watching yourself slowly lose everything. Falling into a hole that you cant ever seem to get out of.

No purpose. No meaning.No happyness.

Death actually seems like a step up.
You just wish you were dead, but your to much of a coward to do it yourself.

Im sure ill feel better tomorrow.
just had to talk to someone.

No need to reply. Im just depressed about life .
Ill probably not feel like this at all after I get some sleep.

I know things will get better. It just doesnt seem like its going to be soon enough.

Im not at rockbottum, but I can see it from here.

[SealClubber]

Originally posted by Tooflyy
Ever feel like your completely alone. Your watching yourself slowly lose everything. Falling into a hole that you cant ever seem to get out of.

No purpose. No meaning.No happyness.

I been there several times

no worries, live life and enjoy it!

[Vlad]

I've felt like this once before, it was when the girl I thought I was going to marry and I broke up. It was horrible and I felt like there was nothing left. Then as time went by, it just got better with each passing day. I know there are a bunch of people on this forum that have gone through hard times so feel free to talk to us if you want to, there are some great people here

[Tooflyy]

I am a regular here. I just wasnt sure that I wanted to use my normal name. I dont get depressed very often. I normally Just never worry about anything at all.

But every so often All the things I avoid worrying about just overwelm me.

Its not about a girl as Ive been alone for almost a year now.
I have my own buiseness and I used to do ok at it, no worries.
I made good money, but now ive slacked off and can hardly keep up with all my bills.

When I wes younger I ruined my credit.
So it took me seven years to repay al my old debts I finally built up credit with a car loan and a few credit cards.

Wich I was never late on one credit card payment or car payment for a few years straight.

I felt like I was on top of the world.

Well I lost alot of acounts in my business , so I wasnt making as much money, but I refused to think about it, and kept spending the same, with the credit cards.

So they are now maxxed out, Ive been late all the time with them.
the intrest rates and late pament fees are so much that i was giving one of them 200 bucks a month and the balance was still higher each month.

So I said screw it im not paying them. I guess I have to file bankruptcy.
they call me 20 times a day night and day, driving me freakin crazy.

I was thrown out of my house when I was 16 and pretty much lived with friends until I was 18 then have been taking care of myself since.

I just feel like im gonna lose everything and be like that 16 year old kid on the street again.

[Pallidrone]

Debt consolidation man........have you tried looking into one of those free services? they can usually freeze your balance and work something out with the creditor to lower your payment.

[KegRun]

Originally posted by Tooflyy
I normally Just never worry about anything at all.

Interesting that you capitalized the first letter in the word just. If you are trying to refer to something...plz don't do it. Specially over money issues.

[Tooflyy]

No I didnt notice that I had capitolized just. It was a coincedence.

I feel better over all.

It did help to get it out.

I realize that I should be thankful for what I do have, im sure there are way to many that have it worse.

Even if i ended up homeless and lost everything ive worked for.
Im not paralyzed or anything like that. and I will just try to look at the brighter side.

I came here to say what I felt and it was something I didnt want anyone that knows me in real life to know.

I didnt want them to worry for me.
Im done feeling sorry for myself.

Its time to take action. I got myself in the hole, I will have to get myself out.

Thanks for listening to me, when I was down.

[Arioch]

[Vlad]

I hear you with the money issues. I also know who you are and will keep your secret safe, even though you are a pussy for taking an alias

A couple years ago I dug myself a pretty big hole and I am now paying for it. I accrued about $35k in debt, including college loans for my Masters Degree I didn't even finish. During that time I was also starting my own business. I maxed out my credit cards and still owe about $5k on them. At the time I had no money, and still don't, lol. I actually just got a civil claim in the mail today from some attorney in regards to a credit card. I am not worried about it though, because when I had all that debt I entered into a debt management program, so that will take care of it for me. I recently stopped that business, because I put too much into it and got nothing back except a ton of debt. I've been interviewing with some companies the past couple weeks and today just had a great interview. Hopefully I will get this position, and should pull down about $6-9k per month with it, which means I could payoff everything in about 3-4 months. Then I can work another 3 months and make some cash to save and move to LA, as per my plan.

So man, money is evil yes, and getting in debt sucks, but it isn't the end of the world, there are ways around it and ways to get out of it. I haven't had a credit card for over a year, it just comes down to determination. Now, I just need to land this job and everything will be made right and I can get on with things again...

[Sasha]

I know who you are as well not that it matters, but most of us are one step away if you ever need an ear.. you know where to find me. .. Anyway.. also.. those people calling your home are in some way no doubtably violating the Fair Credit Act. Actually the Laws are very specific. Even when they send you letters they usually violate the act somehow which would allow you to actually sue them in return for each time they violate the law. Check into it. and the next time they call your house. Make sure to remind them you are aware of the debt and to never call you by telephone again, if they want to correspond with you , to do so by mail, and if they dont they are breaking the law, and you will let your Attorney know.

Anyway Kiddo, goodluck! it always seems bleak for a time, but eventually there is nothing that can't be overcome and you have alot of supportive friends..

[Hexum]

Trust me, I have been there done that. My ex ruined mine pretty good. Bankruptcy x 2. It took awhile but as of right now I have no bills except rent and ins. Things only get better if we try and make them better. Keep your head up, I am sure there are many people you can talk to around here for any advice.

[Vlad]

Yup, Sash. I know the collection laws pretty well, I worked for an agency for a couple years If they call you more than twice in 1 day, they are breaking the law, remember that and use your caller ID wisely

P.S. You can dispute every debt you have in writing if they send you to collections, even if you are at fault. The laws are written to protect the consumer and not the business. Also, here is the big key phrase that not many people know. If you are contacted by an agency, write back to them with this:

"Please cease and desist all collections on my account". If the agency ignores this, you can take them to court for violations of state and federal collection laws, as that one sentence makes that agency stop trying to collect from you for that account forever...

[Mr_Nobody]

Whoever you are, I hope you feel better. And I hope you know now that you shouldn't have to conceal your name for anything like this in the future.

The nice thing about being that low, from personal experience, is that small victories become easily attainable and profoundly rewarding I got through my issues by adding structure and routine to my life. That's not for everyone, mind, but it worked great for me. And here I am, not 10 years later, and I am healthy, wealthy, and ...

... um, well, obnoxious.

Anyway, good luck

[CDSaint]

there are statutes on time frame where cc companies can harrass you regarding cc debts you accrued on. if you don't want to pay your creditors off or simply just don't have the means to come up with the money right now what you need to do is to NEVER promise a penny to any harrassing creditor over the phone because you are bound to make that payment. some companies after 3 years will no longer come after you simply because you didn't promise anyone over the phone from their company that you will send them the check in a few days time or ever say "the check is in the mail". you don't have to be polite either. either just hang up on them when they threaten you or try to negotiate a deal to lower interest on the cc. watch suze orman she will tell you the same about what to do with creditors. cnbc is a great source for investments and mutual funds too if you really want to help yourself out of the financial rut you are in.

[Arioch]

Thanks everyone.
I have seen suze orman.
I have told them if they lower my intrest rate to where a payment would even help then I would start paying.

So I will tell them to stop harrassing me on the phone.
And I will do what vlad said when the collectors write to me.

I have 3 cards that started out at 5% intrest now there 29% with all kinds of late charges. and each card goes up about 200 more a month in intrest and fees. So they are 6-7 grand a piece.

At the moment just paying rent and utilites are hard for me to do.
I have alot to come up with during the next 3 months to pay off my dui so I can get off probation without being violated for not paying them.

Its just kinda all happening at once.
Well I think its almost done raining.I better try to go get something done.

I wonder who taht tooflyy is?
he prolly just wanted to get somethings off his chest without having anyone worry about him.

He will prolly talk to people about things next time.